a poem, if you please

I wrote this in high school, so of course it's inspired by awkward emotions and obsessive neurotic behavior.



don't look don't look don't look...

our indifference (or is it just mine?) is concealed behind latticework
for all to pretend not to see.
flashes of white meeting just for a moment
(just for infinity)
Scorching each other with the intensity of a gaze,
flames licking at my cheeks,
red from the fire.

oh my god I hope he didn’t see me looking hurry look away
before my bovine feelings smash the chinashop of life.

Two star-crossed lovers, bound to love until death do us part?
…perhaps not that. No, definitely not that. But It

-whatever the hell It is-

has its own magic
torture
(unending)
(unquenching)
Tension.Heat.

endless dreams of looks and lips and smiles; thoughts of
bare skin and drunken caresses
crumbling steps leading to a
knock
off
heaven
ANYTHING to fill the
blank
passionless
mediocre days
of “Productivity” and “Learning, ”
everyday the same as the next.

Like a Yellow Raincoat in an old BlackandWhite film
just a Flash, but it leaves the rest of the Movie unbearably Drab and you’re left wondering
when the HELL is this going to get any better?
Was that yellow raincoat it…? That’s all I get?

That’s all, folks.

Why did I even bother in the first place?